Hope To Find That 'Someone'

I'm a dramas and movies addict... especially rom-com (don't judge me) I like things simple and fun.

What I really like about the characters is the hero or heroin always have their 'someone' to lean on. Like when they are sad or in trouble, they can just call and text that person right at that moment. That someone is either best friend/s or parents or siblings or the love one. I am really jealous when watching those moments. I compare them with my own life and i don't think i have that 'someone'.

I'm a girl that full with inner thoughts. I talk in my head a lot. Like A LOT. But not even half of it get through my mouth. When i have problems or in trouble or just feeling lonely i always look at my phone but i just LOOK at it. I never have a person to suddenly call to whine and complain at.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a loner. I have good friends and lovely family who i can be crazy and share stories with. I even being in relationship before. They are all very precious to me. But maybe i'm too used being someone people can lean on, be tough so i don't be a burden to anyone, i never find a person for me to lean on. No one ever make me feel its okay to let my guards down. I have too many thoughts and secrets within myself. 

I envy those characters in those dramas. Hope i can find someone who understands me so well and will be my 'someone'. Someone who will listen to me whining and complaining and be mad at. 

New Music Addiction

I've been into various music all my life (i'm just 21y/o)..

Rock, Metal rock, Hip Hop, Classical, Nasyid, Pop, Kpop, 

So nowadays i'm into acoustic or capella covers

Been on youtube from one video to another to find something to listen to

I don't know much songs besides FTISLAND's (dont judge me i'm a full time PRIMADONNA)

But i get to know what popular songs are in trend from all this covers

Some are really like REALLY awesome and they makes me to open my range wider 

These are some that i really into and even inspired me

Boyce Avenue

and Fifth Harmony

Chester See 

and Tiffany Alvord

Pentatonix

Home Free

(my current fav)

Even with all this new addiction and obsession to new artists, I'm still glued to FTISLAND.

FTISLAND is not just music and artist to me. They makes me have one new life and lots of interestingly worldwide friends. Hope they keep doing music together forever and i'll be their supporter. Always. 

Music is wide. I want to be among it. 

Something called 'BERKAT'

People including me always seems to forgot that we need this particular thing to feel happy in life

I've realized something yesterday when i met my school teacher 

"Budak-budak yang kerek dgn ckg dlu........"

Kadang2 kalau mengata ckg yg x brape nk suka tu slalu ad ayat "Bukan ckg tu ajar kte pn" then dgn selamba ignore or kurang ajar dgn ckg tu

It's so wrong actually.. 

Memang la ckg tu x ajar kte skarang tp akan dtg? kte x tau... Mne tau ad hari dy mengajar kte and that teacher obviously know we didnt like him/her... 

Apa yang dy ajar tu kalau dy susah nak ikhlaskan akan jd x berkat.. sebab seorang ckg tu pun manusia, ada hati dan perasaan... berkat tu penting.. kadang2 kte study teruk mcm mna pun xboleh nk masuk.. maybe kte ad salah dgn ckg tu.. 

and then i remind myself, respect every teacher even how much u dont like him/her. dont ever kurang ajar dengan dorang... setiap guru tu ade ilmu yg kte xde.. 

I'm as soon-to-be-teacher hope to remind myself n my soon-to-be-students this

-RESPECT ALL TEACHERS-

Lagi satu... family... i mean family besar.. maksud family bukan setakat mak ayah n adik beradik je... the whole atuk nenek pakcik makcik r family... 

'Syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu' Its the most important but sometimes we need to understand we have mom and our mom hv a mother too.. sebagai anak mmg kte xde hak nk question our parents tp kadang2 kte boleh slow talk w them when we think they made a really wrong thing.. especially when it involved their parents... we r an adult n we can think rationally what is good n bad.. "Kita tegur sebab sayang" 

We want our family dilimpahi dengan berkat n kasih sayang dr family n friends.. so sometimes we need to do the these kind of things

There's A Moment

There's a moment that i suddenly become sad
I dont know what or why I'm upset or miss about
But my heart just feel heavy n tears comes out without me knowing why
There's a moment like that
Like this moment

Last Minute

its just my thing.. lol
Last minute study, last minute work, last minute plans...
Everything just adhoc..
And guess what.. I'm half dead now..
Doing tons of assignments in a week with so many distraction.. lol
i hv 5 assignments to submit tomorrow...
And I'm still not done even half of any of them..
i think i need help

Bad Friend

Sometimes i do think i'm a bad friend
Mostly because of my words and unsensitiveness (is that even a word?)
Maybe this is why i never have a really long friendship till now
I am 21 and still cant say if i have a best friend
Looking at pics and posts by others with tags #bff always makes me wonder if i ever have one
Its not that i dont pay attention or i dont care... I dont want to be busybody and annoying
I want to give them their own space
Its not that i want to hurt them with my words.. I just think that we are close enough for them to know that i'm just joking..
I want us to be comfortable
But seems like i made the wrong decisions

Here, i wants to apologize to all friends that i ever hurt with my words or action
Just know that i never meant to hurt anyone..

Back To The Start

I'm back here, rambling what's going on with my life

Its always more convenient for me to write rather than talk

I'm just not a good speaker and i always hold back everything i want to say in my head

This is where i can talk caz no one will ever read this

Like a diary